Adoption: the Loving Option

Emotional Chastity/Virtue

Girl meets guy.  Girl immediately starts planning the wedding and writing her first name with his last name all over her notebook to see if it flows well.  Girl puts guy on pedestal and thinks he can do no wrong (which puts way too much pressure on any person).  And thus begins a story that involves a lot of wounds and heartache.

I don't think I've ever met a girl (including myself) who hasn't, in some varying degree, dealt with this at some point or another.  Guys, you're not off the hook either, you can just as easily dream up some idea in your head as well.  So what, pray tell, must be done?  Emotional Chastity/Virtue.  Live in reality and strive for truth, beauty and goodness.  Reality can actually be quite good and allows a relationship to flourish and blossom because neither person is putting too much pressure on the other to be perfect (which helps when apologies and forgiveness are necessary) and when each person sees the other for who they really are then they can both make an honest choice to love each other where they're at and help one another become more virtuous and be the saints they were made to be.  There is a lot more that could be said on this topic, but unfortunately I don't have time to write out a discourse on it right now. So for now, I point you to the following:

Women have a unique ability to identify and draw out the good in another person, thereby contributing to others’ personal growth.  Furthermore, desire for love is in itself natural, good, and even noble. Women court danger, however, when they fill their minds with unbridled sentimentality that ignores the truth about their relationships.

Why would sentimentality or a romanticized vision of love be such a bad thing?  Consider a necessary distinction between romantic sentiment and sentimentality. Sentimentality can easily be detached from reality, thereby threatening healthy relationships, as it is primarily a disproportionate emotional response to sexual attraction.  Emotional sentiments may spontaneously happen to a person and provide a distraction from developing authentic interpersonal interaction, which is rooted in choice, healthy decisions and habits. The role of romantic sentiment, on the other hand, can be a positive one.  Romantic sentiment, if properly integrated into a relationship that also includes mutual knowledge, healthy trust and commitment levels, and true friendship grounded in virtue, comprises one of the key ingredients in authentic love and indeed can be the seed from which authentic love blossoms. If left unchecked, however, sentimentality becomes divorced from reality and this departure from truth about the situation can be harmful.

Read the rest here.
Also check out Emotional Virtue, a website by Sarah Swafford.

How to Give and Receive Love

Check out Part One of a reflection on giving and receiving love based on Luke 14: 12-14 from Ryan Kraeger.
Then read Part Two of the same reflection.
He makes some wonderful observations that are worth contemplating how they apply in your own life and how your relationships can better reflect the love of God.

Ryan will actually be speaking at Catholic Campus Ministry on December 1st, so be sure to mark your calendar and join us for this event!  More information on Operation Eden can be found here.

He is Waiting For You...

Random Acts of Kindness

"We should not serve the poor because they are like Jesus, we should serve the poor because they are Jesus." ~ Bl. Mother Teresa

From Canada comes this inspiring story from a rider on the Winnipeg transit system:

The ride was, as usual, long and uneventful, until we reached the corner of Portage and Main.  That’s when the driver pulled over. This of course surprised all of the passengers on the bus.  But, what happened next still brings tears to my eyes.

The bus driver jumped off the bus to chat with a man that looked to be down on his luck; by all accounts, a homeless man. I first thought the driver was going to offer the man a ride until...

I know you're now in suspense....goal achieved.  haha Read what happened here.